THREE STEPS TO SURVIVING UNEMPLOYMENT

“Well, I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.” Office Space

Don’t get it twisted — it sucks to be out of work.

While Mike Judge’s protagonist “Peter” in the brilliant, off-beat satire Office Space is able to capitalize on his ennui with the help of some hypnotherapy and a healthy dose of chutzpah, many of us, myself included, have experienced this sudden drop in status and struggle to make ends meet. One of the first crucibles we face in this phenomenon is dealing with what seems like an interminable waiting. It can be hard to hold onto hope, but here are three helpful steps to surviving unemployment.

Step one: Make space for the sadness

Whenever something bad happens, the common refrain is “Don’t get down on yourself” and “Look on the bright side.” Affirmations can be helpful, but what is being ignored is the sadness and loss. The lie we tell ourselves is that if we feel bad, we are weak. The truth is that allowing that sadness and loss to exist gives us the opportunity to engage with it, and in doing that, we take care of ourselves. One of the ways I engage in this ritual is to set time aside during my day to feel bad. It seems strange to make an appointment with misery, but for a period of thirty minutes I gift myself that space. It not only provides me with relief, but it also invites agency into a situation I have little control over. This can also be accomplished with journaling, engaging in a mindfulness exercise, or taking a walk. The more you can tolerate feeling bad, the easier it will be to move through it.

Step two: Intention not distraction

Managing time is not an easy feat and one of the pitfalls we face is trying to find ways not to think or feel about our situation. We surf the web, we scroll our phones, we raid the fridge, we binge our shows, but we don’t necessarily invite meaningful change. Distraction diminishes intention, which impedes our ability to achieve a goal. A goal is something that is specific and orientated by time. It is simple and it is structured. It gives us parameters and allows us a sense of accomplishment. If a goal cannot be achieved, it is not an indication of failure, but rather the opportunity to make the goal more simple. Some good ways to achieve goals are having a schedule you can adhere to, identifying the areas where you can make progress, and allowing space and grace for the parts you struggle with.

Step three: Consider the alternative

There’s a shame around quitting. Something about the idea of entertaining futility seemingly casts aspersions on our character. While I don’t think giving up dreams or losing faith is the only move forward, I don’t think there is anything wrong with entertaining the possibility that there might be something else we can do. That we have skills and proficiencies that translate to other economies. In this unscheduled interim, I think it is helpful to consider the alternative. What else could you do? What skills do you have that would be meaningful in another profession. On my road to becoming a psychotherapist, I gave myself the opportunity to explore many different paths without blame or shame. While I’m grateful for the decision I made, I’m glad I got the chance to imagine what else life could offer me. Whether it is taking career aptitude tests or interviewing other people about how they came to their profession, this is an opportune time to see what else is out there and what you could be good at.